


Colors

by malfoymannor



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 10:43:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoymannor/pseuds/malfoymannor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone comes into this world seeing nothing but black and white, and for FN-2187, he assumes that's how it is for everyone. But Poe knows that colors come when you've met your soulmate, but Poe's world is still nothing but black and white. </p><p>So when Poe is captured by Kylo Ren, and then set free by a Stormtrooper, he wasn't expecting for the first color he sees outside of black and white to be the deep color of a Stormtrooper's face and eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Colors

**Author's Note:**

> So let's just preface this by saying that there were three songs that I listened to, and that basically spurred on this story. I tortured myself by listening to them all over and over again while I was writing this.
> 
> \- Colors (where the title comes from) by Halsey  
> \- for him. by Troye Sivan  
> \- Thousand Miles by Tove Lo

Black and white are the colors of the First Order, the only colors that FN-2187 has ever known. The sterile white of the Stormtrooper uniforms, accented with the deep, endless swatches of black. FN-2187 doesn’t know any better though, so he goes on living in his world of black and white. A world where you are nothing but a body, a pawn for the First Order’s cause. They fought just to survive in the cruel world they had been dropped into, not because they actually believed in the cause, but because they were _programmed_ to believe,

Black vs. white, good vs. evil, the First Order vs. the Resistance. That’s what FN-2187’s life has been for as long as he could remember. Having been taken from his parents and reconditioned to know one thing, there’s little room for imagination and creativity. Asking personal questions, or showing physical affection was out of the question, and so life went on.

FN-2187 had everything taken from him. His family, his planet, his _name_ ; and this first mission was going to take the last thing he had, his soul. His humanity would be wiped away, and he would be turned into just another casualty of the fight between Light vs. Dark. He didn’t particularly care much either way, all he wanted was to get away from the First Order’s grip. He was terrified of the amount of power he had, and he didn’t think that there was any way to truly be out of their grasp.

Being herded into the ship, like they were pigs for slaughter was par the course when going off on a First Order mission. This one was special though, because not far behind, Kylo Ren’s ship followed behind them. He only seemed to go when there was something important enough that he didn’t want someone else to mess up. It seemed different from the tales and whispers that he has heard around the base, but FN-2187 had no way of knowing what was normal and what wasn’t. His world was nothing but fighting and darkness.

**~~//~~ **

Living in a world where wartime and deep-space missions were the norm, Poe Dameron was a busy guy. Growing up on the side of the “good guys” had been all Poe had ever know, so being a Resistance pilot was the logical option. He felt a sense of duty to the Resistance, to the cause that raised him to be who he was today.

Growing up in a world where it seemed as though every person Poe knew saw the world in brilliant color, when all he saw was the dullness of black and white. Finding your soulmate was something that most people on the base seemed to be able to do by the time they were ten or eleven. But here Poe was at… his age, with nothing, with no one.

Seeing everyone on base go through the wonderful experience of discovering what colors are with their partners was something that Poe always longed for. Being able to use the crude learning tools that someone had scraped together to help people learn what each color was.

Some people were late bloomers, but he had never known another person that hadn’t found their soulmate by the time they were his age.

Everyone told him not to worry, but it was always at the back of his mind that he might not be enough for someone. That even though he was dedicated to the Resistance with his whole heart and soul, that he was their best pilot, that somehow he wasn’t going to be good enough for someone. He worried that the reason that he had never found his soulmate on the base was because that he didn’t _have_ one.

It was very rare that someone didn’t have a soulmate. Soulmates didn’t even have to be romantic, although they were more times than not. People had platonic soulmates all the time, and Poe would accept that. He just wished that he had someone. Someone that he could confide in when he needed it, someone that he could go to talk to when he was feeling down. But he was off on another mission, and it went into the back of his mind, like it always did. He knew that he had to focus, that the mission that he’d been assigned to could make or break the future of the Resistance—and that they trusted him to do it was enough for him.

**~~//~~ **

Chaos, nothing but chaos. The sounds of battle all around FN-2187, the sounds of people dying, both Resistance and First Order. He was overwhelmed by the amount of noises and actions that had been happening around them. He had been holding a fellow Stormtrooper as they died, seeing another life just slip away was something that no matter the amount of training, he wasn’t prepared for. Panic and rage coursed through FN-2187’s mind, paralyzing him. He stood motionless in the sea of death, watching people being consumed all around him.

Kylo Ren exited his ship, and in that instance, he knew that something very bad was about to happen. A man in dark jacket tried to fire at Ren, and was captured by members of his Stormtrooper squadron.

In that moment, FN-2187’s world exploded. What was once just two colors, two shades of life and death, was completely turned upside down. Fear and shock ran through him, turning his blood to ice and his body to stone. He stood motionless as his head swam, watching the scene unfold before his eyes. FN-2187 didn’t know what was happening, and he didn’t know who this man was, but the one thing he did know was that there was no way he was going to be able to do the things that Stormtroopers were expected to do, while still trying to hold onto that little sliver of a person he had locked away inside himself.

They carted this man, a member of the Resistance that seemed to have something Ren wanted, onto their ships and ordered them to execute everyone else that was in the village. FN-2187 just stood motionless in the sea of noise, and felt eyes on him. Kylo Ren’s mask covered gaze was directed towards FN-2187, and it felt as though he was looking right through him.

Back at the base is when FN-2187 is finally able to start thinking about what had happened. As soon as he gets the chance to, he slips off into an unoccupied space and rips off his Stormtrooper helmet. He’s totally overwhelmed by the amount of different shades of color he’s now seeing all around him. It’s no longer just dark black and bright white, but all the shades in between. He has no idea what they are, or what he’s seeing but it’s all too much.

   “FN-2187. Submit your blaster for inspection.”

   “Yes, Captain.”

   “And who gave you permission to remove that helmet?”

   “I'm sorry, Captain.”

   “Report to my division at once.”

**~~//~~ **

Poe wakes up strapped to some kind of strange chair, surrounded by Stormtroopers. They do their best (or their worst) to try and get the location of the map to Luke Skywalker out of him, but all of them fail. But then comes Kylo Ren, and he invades every facet of his mind. His insecurities, his hopes and dreams, but most importantly, his desire to keep the location of the map a secret. He knows that BB-8 is the one who holds the map, and he knows where the little droid is. Poe can only hope that BB-8 can get away from danger fast enough.

   “I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board. Comfortable?”

   “Not really.”  
  
   “I'm impressed. No one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map.”

   “Might wanna rethink your technique.”

Poe is left strapped to the chair, left to lay there with nothing but the uncomfortable tightness of the restraints, and the feeling of blood, tears, and sweat sliding down his cheeks. It feels as though it’s been an eternity before a Stormtrooper comes in, saying that Ren wants the prisoner. He’s manhandled out of the chair, into a set of restraints, and carted off down the hallway.

He figured that this was probably going to be his death march, but all of a sudden the Stormtrooper was veering off down a hallway and talking to him.

  “Listen carefully: you do exactly as I say, I can get you out of here.”

When the Stormtrooper took off his helmet and revealed the face of a young man, Poe’s world started spinning. He could see the hues of the world around him, the deep vibrant color of the Stormtrooper’s skin, at a stark difference to the white of his uniform. Poe had never seen something so beautiful, and he felt like he was going to vomit.

This was a life and death scenario, but the only thought running through his mind was that a Stormtrooper was his soulmate. A _Stormtrooper._

   “This is a rescue, I'm helping you escape. Can you fly a TIE fighter? “

   “You with the Resistance--?!”

   “What? That's crazy! No no no! I'm breaking you out. Can you fly a TIE fighter?”

   “I can fly anything. Why, why are you helping me? “

   “Because it's the right thing to do.”

   “You need a pilot.”

   “I need a pilot”

   “We're gonna do this.”

   “Yeah?”

Poe didn’t know what it was about this guy, but there was something pure and vibrant about him and he felt as though he could trust him, regardless of the uniform he was wearing. He’s amazed at the world around him, and even in this desolate hangar, he can tell that there’s still a whole variant of colors in the world that he’s never known. Poe wonders if the Stormtrooper besides him even has realized what’s happened, if he even knows about soulmates.

   “Woooahhh! This thing really moves. All right, we gotta take out as many cannons as we can or we're not gonna get very far!”

   “All right!”

   “I'm gonna get us in position, just stay sharp!”

   “Up ahead! Up ahead! You see it? I've got us dead centered. It's a clean shot.”

   “Okay, got it.”

   “YES! You see that?! DID YOU SEE THAT?”

   “I saw it! Hey, what's your name?”

   “FN-2187!”

   “FN-whaa?”

   “That's the only name they ever gave me!”

   “Well I ain't using it! FN, huh? Finn. I'm gonna call you Finn! That all right?”

   “’Finn.’ Yeah, ‘Finn,’ I like that! I like that!”

   “I'm Poe. Poe Dameron.”

   “Good to meet you, Poe!”

   “Good to meet you too, Finn!”

Their escape was like nothing else Poe had ever experienced. There were so many emotions coursing through his body, so many colors flying past his eyes. The escape, colors, thoughts of his family, relief about being free, _Finn,_ so many things going through his mind, so many happy things. And then everything went dark, and Poe was floating in a vast sea of darkness.

~~//~~

The first thing that Finn when he woke up (woke up?) was that it was _hot_. Like, skin-melting hot. And everything was bathed in bright sunlight, illuminating the world in shades of colors that Finn didn’t recognize. The next thing that he remembered was Poe.

Poe, the brave pilot with a radiant smile that treated him like a human. Poe, the man who gave him a name, gave him back a piece of his missing identity. The memories were flooding back, escaping from the First Order, flying the TIE fighter with Poe, being hit, going down…

Finn panicked as he couldn’t find Poe, and his mind went to the worst possible scenario. In the distance he sees smoke, and slowly makes his way to the crash site. From the ruins of the TIE fighter though, Finn only finds the jacket that Poe had been wearing. With little to no hope, Finn sets off in hopes of possibly finding Poe.

Instead of Poe though, he meets a hurricane of a girl named Rey, and a little multi-colored droid named BB-8. Finn still didn’t know how or why he was seeing colors, but he knew that BB-8 looked like the color of the distant sun in the sky, and the sand below them. Jakku was void of any kind of interesting colors that caught his eye, it was rather desolate. Finn didn’t ever really want to come back to Jakku ever again.

Finn had never had a particularly interesting life, and in the short time he had known Rey, they had found the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo and Chewie, and were on their to a place where Han had said they could get BB-8 home.

All this time though, he couldn’t help but think about Poe, and just hope that he had somehow survived the crash. Poe had been the first person that had ever showed him trust and identified him as something other than just another person in a Stormtrooper uniform. He longed to see Poe’s smile again, and the way his eyes lit up when he was excited. Finn felt so different about Poe, considering the short amount of time that they had known each other, than he ever could’ve imagined. It almost felt as though his soul longed to be near Poe.

~~//~~

Getting off of Jakku hadn’t been an easy task, and the only thing keeping Poe going was just hoping, _praying_ that Finn was alive. He didn’t know what happened when your soulmate died, but he assumed that he would’ve felt something, anything. Getting back to the base had taken time, and resources, and Poe was utterly exhausted when he finally got off of the ship.

What he hadn’t expected was to see BB-8 speeding towards him, and he also hadn’t expected BB-8 to be that color either. It was strange seeing so many things that you’ve seen hundreds of thousands of times, new again for the first time. BB-8 was talking at him so fast, all he heard was “Finn” and “helped me home,” before he looked up and saw Finn standing there across the way.

It was just instinct, but they both flew towards each other, embracing each other. Poe never wanted to let go. He wanted to keep Finn wrapped up in his arms forever. Finn—solid, breathing, _alive,_ Finn, his Finn.

   “Poe. Poe Dameron.”

   “You're alive!”

   “What happened? I got thrown from the crash, woke up at night -- no you, no ship, nothing—”

   “BB-8 says that you saved him.”

   “No, no, no. It wasn't just me.”

   “You completed my mission, Finn. That's my jacket?”

   “Oh here.” Finn tried to take the jacket off, but Poe pushed it back up on his shoulder, reveling in the feeling of the strong warmth that radiated from Finn.

   “No, no, no. Keep it. It suits you. You're a good man, Finn.” Poe had to bite his lip hard enough he feared he might break skin, the urge to kiss Finn was so strong.

   “Poe -- I need your help.”

Poe was slowly starting to realize that he probably would do anything for Finn, and Poe wasn’t sure whether or not Finn would ever realize that himself. He didn’t know anything about Finn, but he knew that he would do everything he could to help him.

**Author's Note:**

> This could potentially get a sequel if anyone is interested! Just let me know.


End file.
